Leaving Guatemala

I've only spent just over a month in Guatemala, but I already know that it will forever remain in my heart and my memories. Tomorrow we say goodbye to this great nation and hello to a whole new experience in El Salvador. It's very much a bittersweet feeling.

When I try to think of "highlights" from the past month, my brain just wants to explode. Every day has been a memorable adventure. Last night during a debriefing, we were asked "what are you taking with you from Guatemala?" It was a difficult question for me to think about. The truth is, my entire time here in Guatemala has taught me so much about myself and who I am. I feel myself gaining confidence, learning countless things about the world around me, and discovering an even new love for people. To put all that I have experienced and learned into words is impossible. Even though they don't compare at all to the countless unforgettable things I've experienced, here are just a few things I am taking with me from Guatemala.

Bedbugs. Many people in our group have become spotted and are constantly scratching. Calamine lotion has become our best friend.

The vos form. For those of you who speak or study Spanish, did you know that there is an even friendlier form of tu? It's called vos. The first time I encountered this form in my novel for my class, I was so confused! First of all, it is NOT the same as vosotros (they don't even use that form here). Secondly, I had never heard of this form in any of my Spanish classes. Needless to say, Marleny had to spend a lot of time explaining this foreign form to me.

"SIN MANOS!" We discovered a new form of entertainment while riding in the back of a pickup truck up to and down from Chuitziribal. Just like you would on a roller coaster, if someone shouted "Sin manos!" (or "without hands") while speeding down the hill, everyone let go. I've learned a new meaning to letting go and being flexible, especially with the weather. The rain affects so much here, especially transportation. If it rains too much in one afternoon, you might just have to remain where you are and make the best of your time right where you are. Being in Guatemala has also allowed me to let go of many worries I have struggled with recently. I'm focusing on being fully present here and allowing God to work in me and through the people I live with and encounter. I've let go of things such as worrying about next year and thinking I'm not good enough to do many things, and I've learned that there is so much more I have yet to learn. And this learning is something that many times happens to me without having a firm grasp on exactly what's going on. It's a hard feeling to describe, but I love it.

"No matter where you go, people are still people." This is something my dad has told me in the past. I can remember him saying this after every international trip I've taken and after I've spilled to him about my experiences. I cannot believe how much I was able to connect and relate with the people with whom I lived and studied. Our group of students has connected in countless ways. I could not have asked for a better group of people to live and travel with. My professor and I shared so many irreplaceable conversations that I absolutely loved. We are two very different people from two different worlds and different generations, but we came to realize that we both share a passion for people and for the world. I admire that woman so much, and I learned so much from her, not only about Spanish and Guatemala, but also life in general. I also love how much I was able to connect and laugh with my host family. As Gloria and I talked more and more, we discovered we had a lot in common. Once again, I found a deep connection with a middle class Guatemalan woman, in whose eyes I could see the result of many hard-working years and a strong love, although sometimes painful love, for her family. I am so thankful for her tasty and simple meals, her encouraging smiles, and her interest in my studies. Also whenever I hung out with Ericka, whether it be talking about her school, playing some cards, or taking many many pictures with my webcam, I could see myself ten years ago in that girl. I see so much potential, in both of them. People are still people, and there are no limits to the ways that just simply being a human being in the same huge world can connect one person to another.

"Con cuidado y sin miedo." A few weeks ago on the top of El Baul, before Ryan, Josh, and I embarked upon our adventure of sliding down a giant 100-foot concrete slide on flattened 2-liter pop bottles, Oscar, our phenomenal driver, came speeding down the road in his van-bus to give us a little bit of guidance. "There are just two ways to do this," he said. "With caution and without fear." Con cuidado y sin miedo. Words of wisdom that have held true throughout this trip and that I believe will continue to guide us as we continue sliding down this adventure.

I cannot describe to you how content I am to be here. An indescribable peace has overcome me. I have no doubt that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. I'm already thinking that culture shock is something that will hit me not here in Central America, but when I return to the culture that I've called "home" for over 20 years.

Tomorrow at this time I will be in a different country, a different house, a different bed. What will that look like exactly? I'm not entirely sure, but I'm entirely ok with that.

Gracias a Dios por esta paz.